The 365 Project Pt. II

we all get here eventually
beginnings and endings are all the same
blips on radar screens on and off again
forgetting the before and after
and in between

what happens between flashes
of light is the mystery of darkness where
we become who we really are where
there lost in the dark we are
always found

make your middles count
the riddle of the hill is in the climbing
the quickest way down
is to bow

sand becomes the glass and the
glass returns to sand like three vultures
up in the tree behind my house
still no not yet boys
maybe next year

make your middles count
the riddle of the hill is in the climbing
the quickest way down
is to bow

epw 4.19.08 perrysburg, oh

everything in its place
every nothing in its nowhere
from nothing sprouts green
again in everywhere
there is void

our hearts sutras beating
out form and nothingness our
unfortunate heads lost in
clouds formerly pieces
of oceans

we are of each other
and for each other
our blood the roads
of antiquity the spirals of
everything to come

why am i crying i still have
tomorrow but i hate calendars
now i understand what that
all means and i’m sorry i
made you to die

we are of each other
and for each other
our blood the roads
of antiquity the spirals of
everything to come

and i’m sorry i
made you to die

epw 4.18.08 perrysburg, oh

every day we try
to do our best
or something
as long as we try
we rise

i am lost again in
the forest in my
heart through
the soft pines the
wind sings

pines and the sea
always there for me
the moon and stars
always a mystery

i will not forget the
birds have eaten
the bread crumbs
but there’s no need
to return

pines and the sea
always there for me
the moon and stars
always a mystery

epw 4.17.08 perrysburg, oh

i want to get lost
in space
it’s like the ocean
so cold you can’t breathe
but it’s as big as everywhere

i’d take one last
look at
the christmas lights
below before reconciling
my differences with the moon

floating and sinking
it’s all the same thing
buoyed up
or pulled down
by something unseen
either way
you let yourself go

i want to take a
minute
and stretch it wide
pull it hard enough and
make it last as long as forever

floating and sinking
it’s all the same thing
buoyed up
or pulled down
by something unseen
either way
you let yourself go

epw 4.16.08 perrysburg, oh

not until you dip your toes
into a soggy desert
or walk across a dusty sea
will you finally know
that every contradiction
is righted in each and
every disbelief

we turn out the light to say
goodnight we wave
goodbye to taillights down
the driveway and
sometimes hello really
means goodbye i’m
raising my hand

one of everything
every year
and every year another
my basket is nearly full

maybe the wrong number
messages on my
machine are really for me
but joseph it seems
he’s in a heap of trouble
we pull our own oars
but i’m so tired

one of everything
every year
and every year another
my basket is nearly full

epw 4.15.08 perrysburg, oh

this day picked like a bouquet
burns brightly then fades
withering in a glass on the table
until in moonlight it is gone

we cut them short of our own
desire forgetting the cut
we give ourselves stealing
what it gives easily for free

seize no day
surrender and
be swept away
seize no day
be ready for anything

the glass is good for pinching
sand and killing lilies the
watchmaker an undertaker
and the florist the mortician

seize no day
surrender and
be swept away
seize no day
be ready for anything

epw 4.14.08 perrysburg, oh

what gets touched into existence
isn’t always touched
nor does it always exist
but there it is
regardless

the woods grows to and from
the sun bending and
twisting a vocabulary its
own before the
axe rewrites

i didn’t lose myself
i didn’t disappear
what now

crudely paint over the top of what
was before listen now
no more of this we’ve had
our fill let this be
testimony

i didn’t lose myself
i didn’t disappear
what now

epw 4.13.08 perrysburg, oh

over and over
and over and done
these are the best days
these are the last
wake with me tomorrow
be here the next
soon now
i’ll lay you to rest

how many flowers
countless come go and
come again when
the green is wet and the
sun is new winter’s
moon has
set and soon will you

we can relive this all again
we can relive this all again
i’ll leave it here for you

let’s water our
beds one last time
and see what new will
rise from this clay
wake with me tomorrow
be here the next
soon now
i’ll lay you to rest

we can relive this all again
we can relive this all again
i’ll leave it here for you

epw 4.12.08 perrysburg, oh

like whistles made
of bones wind blows through
and we sing
again before
our dust melts into clay

like lowering yourself
into a bathtub full of lightbulbs
careful now
be gentle
or you’ll soon be ribbons

no fetishes or shrines
no socks over our hands
will protect us from harm
or deliver us from
ourselves

like irises smell of grapes
protected by green swords
and beestings
be wary
or soon you’ll be honey

no fetishes or shrines
no socks over our hands
will protect us from harm
or deliver us from
ourselves

epw 4.11.08 perrysburg, oh

all ghost stories are mostly true
oh you poor dead what can you do
trapped here you fools what
are you holding on to

we grieve and let go but you refuse
to leave it’s ok there’s nothing you can
can say we understand go now
it’s time for you all to all leave

float away disappear
don’t you understand
once i would have killed
to be you but
that was a long time ago
now i can wait

we forgive you dying it comes to us
all how many times we wished we could
leave and when it’s time we
drag our feet and our chains

float away disappear
don’t you understand
once i would have killed
to be you but
that was a long time ago

epw 4.10.08 perrysburg, oh

there ain’t much chance
of gettin’ by
all alone in this world
everything is all too much
even the stars in the sky
every one they’ve all got names

so whatcha gonna do
sittin’ all alone
in your cave better start
looking hard for someone
who you know you won’t drive insane

and jesus
he don’t answer
his own phone
it’s either been disconnected
or no one’s home

so who ya gonna call
there ain’t much
time to get this done
everything is all too much
sooner or later the pieces fall
and where they land is where you’ll stand

and jesus
he don’t answer
his own phone
it’s either been disconnected
or no one’s home

epw 4.9.08 perrysburg, oh

you were there
but i didn’t fully recognize you
among the old and plumping
kids from school

you were the same
as then but now streaks in your
hair we held each other and said
everything

i woke up sad
but still
you can’t lose
what you never had

and later after everything
and more we rolled tape and
played weirdly knowing thurston
would approve

i woke up sad
but still
you can’t lose
what you never had

epw 4.8.08 perrysburg, oh

i was shocked
to see
jim in his
gaudy leather suit
made soft
by tannic acid
and pee
before we went
outdoors to the
halloween parade
with its egg races
and hugging contests
i squeezed too hard
and stepped
over the line
later in a gallery
some changes
were made
and i observed
pictures of furniture
and letches
in old cars
from a bed
in the center
soon it was clear
i was unwelcome
so i found
something to eat
and thought
long and hard
about minneapolis

epw 4.7.08 perrysburg, oh

today we look down and smile
every tiny sprig coiled and ready
to become every worm wakes
to make his way through the damp

today the sun will warm the backs
of our necks through a breeze still
cold with winter’s dying breath
birds wing above the end of sleep

it’s all over too soon
barely goodbye and now another
how could i have known
one year ago

today i put the basement to rest
shut down the blue fire horseshoe
tossed out the box of dust and
broken glass bulb spider hulls

it’s all over too soon
barely goodbye and now another
how could i have known
one year ago

epw 4.6.08 perrysburg, oh

i’m still stunned
i am amazed at
smallness in the
face of simplicity

the songs have
have begun water
retreats into the
soft mossy damp

o primavera
your fates ghostly
in orange groves
arrows of desire
soon to fool away

the robin and jay
reclaim branches
ready to swagger
in green and violet

o primavera
your fates ghostly
in orange groves
arrows of desire
soon to fool away

epw 4.5.08 perrysburg, oh

every saturday wished for
is a friday forgotten
how many can you afford
to miss

it’s moving too fast it won’t
slow down like cards
flipping through spokes it
doesn’t stop

today means everything now
like yesterday did then
and tomorrow will again

write every book of friday
each with no beginning
every ending a different
surprise

today means everything now
like yesterday did then
and tomorrow will again

epw 4.4.08 perrysburg, oh

most of these are whiskers
grown from follicles of morning
each touching the edges
of the day to judge its size
and see if i’ll fit

but these are faulty antennae
allowing me to pass through
each time regardless of
whatever warning is implied
or forgotten

lacking agility and grace i trip
my way through each time every
day a fishmarket in china
and glass and my attraction only
threatens to destroy it

epw 4.3.08 perrysburg, oh

rise
oh rise
and shine
erase a night of dreams
things aren’t what they seem

i showed you
where the bees were
in bowls above our heads
barefoot insensitive we didn’t know

never trust anyone
who says trust me
never believe anyone
who says believe me

rise
oh rise
and shine
every day is unmeant
we pretend they are more

trust me
trust me
i don’t believe you
i don’t believe you

epw 4.2.08 perrysburg, oh

everyone’s afraid of something
spiders dreams or dying
sometimes i’m afraid of everyone
i wish i could stay inside
and not come out for days

everyone’s mad at something
ignorance or the guy on tv
sometimes i’m mad at myself
i wish i could do it all over
and not make a single mistake

stop worrying
no brown recluse
or chain gang dreams
are going to put an end to this

everyone’s in love with something
money beauty or living
sometimes i’m in love with nothing
like everything’s a prison
and together we have it all

stop worrying
no pretty face
or sacks of gold
can make something of this

epw 4.1.08 perrysburg, oh

hope filled like so many balloons
can rise and float away tugging us
along held by strings we refuse
to let go

we are pulled down strange city
streets and through country lanes
the moment we stop looking up
we arrive

what we let go
floats higher and away
when seen by strangers
a thing of mystery
and wonder

when strange streets reveal their
patterns and the codes of backroads
deciphered grow routines it’s time
to let go

what we let go
floats higher and away
when seen by strangers
a thing of mystery
and wonder

epw 3.31.08 perrysburg, oh

march out
your lions tamed
by lambs
what flowers
will april’s fools
bring

water cycles
in and out
of my basement
pushed out
by pumps into
the yard
to sink
into the yellow grass
and return again
and again

push your lilies
and bleeding hearts
out into april
we’ll mourn the dead
and kiss new life
into everything
left behind

we will dream
of years
to come

epw 3.30.0 perrysburg, oh

crystal blue showing
through the trees
the ice melts again
the snow recedes

how many more times
how many more times

we wake and wonder
what does each
day bring but really
we bring the day

every time every time
every time every time

my three buzzards
will be back soon
to see if i have grown fat
or wasted as a rail

i don’t know what they
will make of me
they haven’t changed
and they never will

every time every time
how many more times
how many more times
how many more times

epw 3.29 08 perrysburg, oh

hello again snow
i have no choice
but to accept you
and i am amazed

no date in a book
tells you when to
come and go you
fall when you will

and this is the truth
we lost it long ago

i won’t wait when
it’s time to fall we
know inside when
it’s time anyway

and this is the truth
we lost it long ago

epw 3.28.08 perrysburg, oh

sometimes we’re stunned into sunlight
too quick to adjust our eyes
still living by sleepy moonlight flowers
trapped inside our tongues
still taste like each other

but days push envelopes of resistance
we open them dead letters all
blank sheets for us to write ourselves
into and out of lies white
paper flags of surrender

we’ve all lost us some things
might as well give ‘em away first
lighten the bones
loosen the ropes
everything be all right soon

a moment in forever means more than
an hour to a day like firefly
ovaries they are tiny but mean everything
to lightening bugs set on
sagging through summer

we’ve all lost us some things
might as well give ‘em away first
lighten the bones
loosen the ropes
everything be all right soon

epw 3.27.08 perrysburg, oh

fifty million birds in the trees
push push
they’re impatient to get on with spring
and all together chatter and sing

fifty million specks in the trees
push push
bold and lean bellies eager for seeds
from trees still to leaf in greens

for the last time this year
the moon
collapses in on itself

fifty million screams of joy and release
push push
swirling around me as the sun holds out
just a little longer each day

for the last time this year
the moon
collapses in on itself

epw 3.26.08 perrysburg, oh

we’re not growing old together
you and i
no i did you in from the start
soon one of us has to go
and we both know who

i didn’t think it would be like this
yet again
i count down to another end
this i have made myself
there is no stopping it

from now on
none as bad as this
i will do my best
i will do my best

and knowing this the seasons
cycle but
unlike me this thing will be
done and you and i will
be one i’ll show you

from now on
none as bad as this
i will do my best
i will do my best

epw 3.23.08 perrysburg, oh

ghosts and the living
haunt me the same
there’s no difference
between waking
and the dead

nothing that can be
touched is real but
everything i hold in
my arms is warm
and true

every night
we walk to the place
but we both know
better
than this

and i inscribed every
name on each of them
with my fingertips my
blood in every stone
all my own

every night
we walk to the place
but we both know
better
than this

epw 3.24.08 perrysburg, oh

i never thought
that i would make it this far
seems like everything’s made up
and that nothing’s real
here’s to fuckin’ up
let’s raise our glass
and spend it all

i remember every single time
that i was wrong
you didn’t think i was counting
but you were gone
it’s time i make amends for this
but i don’t know how

i would do anything
to change everything
that i have done
but it would never
be enough

i promise you to my
dying day that i will never forget
anything that we dreamed
would be everything
that we promised we’d
never lose

i would do anything
to change everything
that i have done
but it would never
be enough

epw 3. 23.08 perrysburg, oh

nothing rushes in
to fill this vacuum
the hollow remains
there’s no putting
your finger on
what’s not there

soon everything
is filled up with
whatever finds its
way there mostly
runoff and refuse
but i am prepared

i did this to myself
i do not know why
once i dipped in the
stream but instead
of using my gils i
sprouted legs for land

now i cannot go back
forbidden to return
the once cool water
now salty and warm
tears of my own
making but not my own

epw 3.22.08 perrysburg, oh

oceans of endings
wash over me
wash over me
i sink willingly
into your blue
and green permanence

i am here
of my own accord
i dove headfirst
into the warm brine
a sea of my own making

and as i sink
above me is the
walnut shell canoe
i left you
for your safe departure
into forever

oceans of endings
wash over me
wash over me
what have i done
what have i done

epw 3.21.08 perrysburg, oh

there you were
under our feet all along
a miracle of birdseeds
and peanut dreams

how did you do it
did you make the leap
fall through the cracks
where did you go

when hope is lost
hearts will still be mended
stitched up in miracles
and wonder

soon you’ll be back
in your socks and the
world will be new again
we’ve changed

when hope is lost
hearts will still be mended
stitched up in miracles
and wonder

there you were
under our feet all along
a miracle of birdseeds
and peanut dreams

how did you do it
did you make the leap
fall through the cracks
where did you go

epw 3.20.08 perrysburg, oh

last night listening to nico
she told me i was beautiful
and alone
she was half right
i took down the mirrors
long ago

i remember we found two
aerosol cans in a field we
tossed them
into the sky and
they sprayed us with
insecticide

everybody’s insides
are full of surprises
stop looking
in order to see

none of this means a thing
yet it’s all true every day has
passed and
the ones still to
come are undone
they wait

everybody’s insides
are full of surprises
stop looking
in order to see

epw 3.19.08 perrysburg, oh

all of us and more waist deep
formed a circle in the shallows
hand in hand we started to spin
clockwise faster and faster

and when i jumped i missed
the raft and everybody laughed
but i had already made my
plans for raw fish in france

at some point
everyone needs to escape
first chance you get
let yourself go

the spinning circle soon collapsed
in on itself made a huge splash
i soon discovered that raw fish
in france is only good for cats

at some point
everyone needs to escape
first chance you get
let yourself go

epw 3.18.08 perrysburg, oh

yesterday everything was brown
like the cold that’s trying to warm
toledo was yawning and above it
a yellow kite flew tethered to a wish

spring is ready to open its eyes
what will today bring how will i
remember another year i have
nothing to fly over this sleepy city

you can let go your string
or wind it back
everything that wakes
sleeps again

no holding out on inevitability the
spinning never stops day to night
cold to hot sunlight to moonlight
white to green to brown again

you can let go your string
or wind it back
everything that wakes
sleeps again

epw 3.17.08 perrysburg, oh

anything that can’t be undone
can still be forgiven
in the moment there is only
now and what will be

the failure of the word cuts
the cat in two the flute
silent until we stop trying
then the song returns

like trees
growing in eaves troughs
the world is where we make it

self like robes dropping away
is merciless ashamed
of our nakedness so let it go
and sing with me now

like trees
growing in eaves troughs
the world is where we make it

epw 3.16.08 perrysburg, oh

i can tell it’s almost time
you’re almost ready
to wake again
you smell of moss
and mud
hullo
hullo

how did you sleep what
did you dream did you
miss the moon
and stars did you
think you
wouldn’t
wake

it’s time again
i’ve missed you
remember me
i waited for you

take your time but don’t
wait too long there’s
water and light
enough for you
here to
awake
awake

it’s time again
i’ve missed you
remember me
i waited for you

epw 3.15.08 perrysburg, oh

morning is hollow
and strong
like bamboo
it props up each day
effortlessly
and through it
our breath sings

how many times
i have
wished you
away holding out on
night afraid you
would kill my
sad old moon

no but it was me
my hands still dusty
with the deed

but that was then
now i
hold morning
tight giver of life a
daily miracle
bedclothes of
the tired moon

as for me
my hands still dusty
but now i can see

epw 3.14.08 perrysburg, oh

all night long
turning and turning
give a dog a bone
the moment the choir intones
the last hour is the longest

a crazy plane
too powerful for the
sky explodes the holes
where everyone falls are four
feet deep in solid stone

i can’t make it stop
it won’t go away
a meal in the making
feasted upon by dreaming

the wrong house
and the wrong family
you called and i couldn’t
talk it was easter in the kitchen
and i was bound for the hill

i can’t make it stop
it won’t go away
a meal in the making
feasted upon by dreaming

epw 3.13.08 perrysburg, oh

where does it all come from
is it new or has it always been here
waiting

i skied across an ohio hillside at
night chased by a white leopard
that didn’t eat me

pictures of locker rooms
in a book i didn’t want to see
on the cover an ocean horror
a girl turning into a fish
in agony
before being swallowed
by a rusty mechanical whale

why am i so upset by this

epw 3.12.08 perrysburg, oh

i want to make a day
of sleep and for a night
stay awake wrapped
in a blanket of dark
pierced by silver
freckles of light

when it was over i
would try to remember
every second of
both and try to make
something of it even
if it was nothing

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

just to count hours as if
they were days minutes
or seconds for each
to be lifetimes rising
and falling i would
write their histories

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

epw 3.11.08 perrysburg, oh

i want to make a day
of sleep and for a night
stay awake wrapped
in a blanket of dark
pierced by silver
freckles of light

when it was over i
would try to remember
every second of
both and try to make
something of it even
if it was nothing

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

just to count hours as if
they were days minutes
or seconds for each
to be lifetimes rising
and falling i would
write their histories

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

epw 3.11.08 perrysburg, oh

the amp hum
tone arm drop
and pedal click
all a simple ecstasy
in utter simplicity
your theresa’s
entrails pierced
and burning
like no bernini
dare fuck
with his angel
no yours a beauty
in direct
shuddering communion
sculpted in vacuum
tube heat and wire
all drifting and round
and later you
with the bearded prophet
fahey
make dark the night
and cold the ground
again
before the terror
and mercury-tasting
dread
of the sea
sublime
in horror and capacity
overwhelms
desperate shouts
incapable of
overcoming
certainty
dumbfounded
by arrogance
and pointless
resistance
and here your shaking
stops
like the heart before
golden arrows
penetrate
and rend us
immune

epw 3.10.08 perrysburg, oh

we give and take away daylight
as if we can
every four years an extra day
because we don’t
understand universal clockwork

who needs clocks when we have
the stars mark
each month by hot or cold sense
of smell and the
color of light dissolved in water

none of this matters anyway
mark them however you want
returns return and back again

light and dark are made by myth
and desire there
is nothing else to know just accept
and give yourself
to the invisible coil that turns it all

none of this matters anyway
mark them however you want
returns return and back again

epw 3.9.08 perrysburg, oh

do flowers dream
of becoming trees
sick of their hollow stems
full of milk for flowers
and food for bees

what ocean doesn’t
dream of falling into the
himalayas or rolling down
the faces of lovers
before returning

we are ashes
once and again
from the ground
and back again

one day the sky
will take it’s leave and
like the moon the earth
sad cold silver dust
endlessly spinning

we are ashes
once and again
from the ground
and back again

epw 3.8.08 perrysburg, oh

and soon it was time
and i didn’t want to
let it go
but there it was
in the white room
with the drain on the floor

eventually
we’re all empty
dry hollow husks
depleted vessels
of memory

so i squeezed and
the drain did its job
and all i
wanted was to
tell you one more
thing but it was too late

and the doctor wasn’t
right his eyes wide
red and damp
showed me how
to make it nice and
neat but never happy

eventually
we’re all empty
dry hollow husks
depleted vessels
of memory

epw 3.7.08 perrysburg, oh

eventually the bubbles in us rise
there will be clarity from the hillsides
all things grow
before they die
we will rise
we will rise

behind a white flag is no place to hide
i was wrong and what i’ll pay is nothing
compared to this
before i die
i will rise
i will rise

apologies
like murdering crows
won’t save the corn
there are always
feathers
everywhere

i will find a way out of myself
somehow so none of this goes to waste
all things grow
before they die
you will rise
you will rise

apologies
like murdering crows
won’t save the corn
there are always
feathers
everywhere

epw 3.6.08 perrysburg, oh

how many last straws and camel’s backs
how many lives left in this poor cat
i’ve given it all
i’ve paid in full
this white flag is all i have left

we’ve already been through this there’s
no use trying to push me more
i’ve given it all
i’ve paid in full
besides you gave me your word

it’s almost over anyway
just a few more weeks
and i’m gone
start counting

there’s no going back don’t know what
i’d do if i could it wouldn’t change that
i’ve given it all
i’ve paid in full
remember you went after me

it’s almost over anyway
just a few more weeks
and i’m gone
start counting

epw 3.5.08 perrysburg, oh

it was still daylight
wandering
from room to room
taking one last look
i tossed
one lit stick
of dynamite
into the living
room
and out the fire escape
i leapt
moving quickly
farther away
it was suddenly dark
as made my way
down main street
when the light flashed
the street rippled
and for a moment
i was lifted
off the sidewalk
and i heard glass
starting to fall closer
but by the time it hit me
it was only water
i looked back
no pillar of salt
and everything
was gone

epw 3.4.08 perrysburg, oh

like everyone else
i live in houses made
of cards pictures pasted
on each a museum
recreated in celluloid

and last night this one
complete with cardboard
friends from the past and
open walls to the
outside collapsed

shuffle the deck
roll the bones
read the leaves
it’s gonna rain again
regardless

they all go up and
come down again get
used to beginnings and
endings change
is unavoidable

shuffle the deck
roll the bones
read the leaves
it’s gonna rain again
regardless

epw 3.3.08 perrysburg, oh

soon begins
winter’s gracious leave
accepting
receding
disappearing into the
underbrush and
overpasses

we can all
feel it softly begin
the thrush
no longer
deceived fills himself
with beginning
and sings

i begin my goodbye
everyday i was here
with you
and i will be
again

the sky plump
with blue and promise
reflects and
contains all
that pushes against it
which is to say we are
our own skies

i begin my goodbye
everyday i was here
with you
and i will be
again

epw 3.2.08 perrysburg, oh

it’s remarkable
what’s forgotten
and what is not
fishing line caught
on a car sinking to the bottom
a sea lion in a boat
his flippers poking
through the holes

all this for mercy
strange misunderstood
joy what i can’t
erase becomes
a tragedy or comedy of
helplessness that
i dove into headfirst
i dove into headfirst

and that wasn’t all
when the boats
pulled round and
everyone pulled and pulled
in i went and saw
everything attached
sad faces and everything
wrecked all hooked
to invisible lines
which i proceeded
to cut

epw 3.1.08 perrysburg, oh

venus your birth heralded
in egg whites and minerals
far less delicate than the
waves licking at your
pearlescent emergence

blown into existence
by cherubim winds
reverent and adoring
in awe of your immediacy
and immodesty

you know what it means
to drop your finger
across your breast
just enough to reveal
what later your creator
would try to destroy
insane with righteousness
repentant for the
audacity of genius
and youth

but now and forever
it is you
eternally in birth
your suspect virginity
against greens and blues
your oyster opened forever
your smile saying more
than you are willing
to admit

epw 2.29.08 perrysburg, oh

on the eve of this morning
i looked at my clock
what did it say
what did it say
it’s almost today

and here it is later and still
i look at the clock
what does it say
what does it say
it’s never today

where we are is
never where it seems
time is longer than
juniper’s green

time is no matter in our hands
the only thing to do
smash the clocks
smash the clocks
and forget today

where we are is
never where it seems
time is longer than
juniper’s green

epw 2.28.08 perrysburg, oh

soon the caterpillar will emerge
who eats all summer long
never stopping for a day
until his self-incarceration
and emergence
as a moth who won’t ever eat a thing
just alive long enough
to reproduce

something’s changing
but i don’t know what it is
there’s so much left to do
but i don’t know where to
to begin

i dreamt of bleeding hearts poking
through the snow and plumping
tiny heat sources furnaces of
abstract invention and awe
yet instead
of being full of blood they are hollow
inside like the very things
they imitate

something’s aching
but i don’t know what it is
there’s so much left to do
but i don’t know where
i left off

epw 2.27.08 perrysburg, oh

from the window
at the top of the garage
i saw everything i wanted to see
in beaver falls

cut into the side of a hill
that rolled up and over
it was everything it needed to be
the falls golden and green

childhood doesn’t
transcend illusion or myth
memory a strange loop forever
oscillating in a magnetic
field

epw 2.26.08 perrysburg, oh

sometime days
so much or so little
fanning like an undersea
anemone the ripples
moving the curtains

sometimes nights
nothing is everything
moonlight slivers work
their way through
moving the curtains

spent like coins
on so much forgotten
nothing
afraid these will be
the same

we’re not made to
make every moment
count we’re wired to miss
most everything
moving the curtains

spent like coins
on so much forgotten
nothing
afraid these will be
the same

epw 2.25.08 perrysburg, oh

as so many times before
the sun and snow play
their tug of war
the march lion prepares
to roar

it’s inevitable
it’s inevitable

the sun’s no killer winter no
tomb like sleep under
blankets a dream
time and time again
make room

it’s unavoidable
it’s unavoidable

it’s time to give in
let it wash all over you
wait for it
wait for it
you’ll know when
it's time to begin

higher and higher longer
and longer the sun
regains his
watch the guard changes
again

it’s unavoidable
it’s inevitable

it’s time to give in
let it wash all over you
wait for it
wait for it
you’ll know when
it's time to begin

epw 2.24.08 perrysburg, oh

oh how many times
again and again
i keep spiraling spiraling
down rabbit holes
vortexes
of my subconscious
through the illusion
of my self the fun house
mirror of truth
distorted for laughs
instead of horror
face to face with the
grotesque realization
that ugliness and beauty
are strange chemical reactions
firing deep inside
corpuscles and synapses
unbroken lost highways
trapped inside a
one-hundred
and forty-five pound universe
there aren’t days
weeks months
or years
only moments
each more confusing
and complicated
than the next
and it’s all so simple
when you really think about it
then forget
it’s all so simple

epw 2.23.08 perrysburg, oh

it was today about thirty
years ago today colder than
hell the mist off the river
held tight the trees in heavy
glass pulled them right down

we pressed eggs to see how
much they could take and i
was surprised it was so much
before the pop and fingers
wet with almost chickens

i found this all
in an old notebook
i don’t remember any of this
but it’s got my name
all over it

i slept for two days in a bed
full of leaves it says here they
smelled like dirt not in the
bad way like cardboard or
death but like how it is outside

and there’s a note it should
be filmed in color that there’s
never enough black and white
and it should stay like that
too much color’s got me down

i found this all
in an old notebook
i don’t remember any of this
but it’s got my name
all over it

epw 2.22.08 perrysburg, oh

at the old athletic field
it was redwing
before we crawled up
and over the door to
find the cupboards
bare

and that wasn’t all arms
sore we were
hungry then they took
our names and told us
that it really wasn’t
redwing

has the hole
been dug for me
i am ready to fill it up
now

after so many laps
it became
something that i wanted
there we all were playing
something it was
redwing

has the hole
been dug for me
i am ready to fill it up
now

epw 2.21.08 perrysburg, oh

the wake up disc
spins me awake again
i never make it through
the first verse
and i don’t remember
the rest

dreaming thirteen
or twenty years at a
time is exhausting i
am ready to
trade all the dreaming
for sleep

just for a little while
just for a little while
i’m running low
just for a little while

sometimes it just
won’t stop no matter
how hard i try sleep
escapes me
and i am at the mercy
of dreams

just for a little while
just for a little while
i’m running low
just for a little while

epw 2.20.08 perrysburg, oh

we pulled doors off
and put them back up again
so many leaning houses
yearning to fall over

we sit inside them all
waiting for them to collapse
and fill them up with fish
and hungry cats

the refuge for unwanted guests
a welcome long overstayed
send them all into the desert
and walk away

seasons change on
cardboard slides placed behind
plastic horses who smile
in plastic haybale pens

pull everything off
the top of rickety wardrobes
everything is shaking
its way to the ground

the refuge for unwanted guests
a welcome long overstayed
send them all into the desert
and walk away

epw 2.19.08 perrysburg, oh

who were you there
all newness and warm
underneath the blanket
outdoors

what book’s title was
it that i couldn’t write
even though i tried a
hundred times

i tried a hundred times
but i couldn’t remember
the words twisted
and changed before me

i was lost in a giant blue
aquarium moving past
obedient schoolchildren
and eels

pushed from behind
by impatience late for
class i realized wouldn’t
make it back

i wouldn’t make it back
no matter how hard i tried
to retrace my steps
everything had changed

epw 2.18.08 perrysburg, oh

what is spectacular
is that we can’t see
a thing we cannot
comprehend the
simplest forgotten
speck
everything is born
from unimaginable
complexity and
strangeness none
of which we should
ever understand it
would only ruin it
all for magic and
ritual nightmares and
myths dance song
lore and dreams
of returns should be
all that is necessary
everything is better
unknown where we
define ourselves by
our ability to imagine
wonder or forget
apathy separates
the living from the
dead
poets be shamans
of dark and light lead
us into mystery and
awe sharpen the edges
of fears and bury
sunlight in our bellies
paint beetles in silver
iridescence and keep
the slowly twisting
vortex of dreams
spinning

epw 2.17.08 perrysburg, oh

you can dream your way into life
you can dream your way in to love
you can dream your way into dreams
and you can dream your way
out of them again

you can live your way into dreaming
you can love your way into dreams
you can dream your way into dreams
and you can live your way
out of them again

so many times
i wished for wings
to fly
i wouldn’t look down
only up

you can sing your way into song
you can dance your way into prayer
you can squeeze the life out of yourself
and squeeze it all back
into yourself again

so many times
i wished for fins
to swim
nowhere to look
only be

epw 2.16.08 perrysburg

no matter
if you’re walking out
slowly into open sea
or letting
go of tree branches
for cool blue sky it’s
all in the mind

we are not
what we think we are
only eggshells and
gauze
the rest inside pushing
against the walls no it’s
all in the mind

we are something
you and i
like stepping into
a tv set and looking
back out into the sofa
we are something
you and i

even when
our containers begin
to fail we are still like
children
inside and we continue
to dream live and love
all in the mind

we are something
you and i
like stepping into
a tv set and looking
back out into the sofa
we are something
you and i

epw 2.15.08 perrysburg, oh

love like spring is
born again and again
tenacious and persistent
it pushes through
the death of winter
regardless

love like summer
glows heated from
far fiery furnaces
taking its power
from long forgotten
sources

love like autumn
braces itself for the
assailment of time
throwing off colors
and retaining only its
essence

love like winter sleeps
dreaming of birth a
resurrection of water
and green melting
together into a ripe
embrace

love is a blanket
that smooths itself
of its own accord
under it we succumb
to its warmth and
dream

epw 2.14 08 perrysburg, oh

a mousetrap and a long
walk back to the house
these were not for you
no we had to wait

different drums beating
time on different days
these were not for you
no we had to wait

time is not up to us
we wait unaware that we’re waiting
until it happens one day and we say
i’ve been waiting for this

sleeplessness the lair
of disjointed dreams
these were not for you
no we had to wait

time is not up to us
we wait unaware that we’re waiting
until it happens one day and we say
i’ve been waiting for this

epw 2.13.08 perrysburg, oh

the new morning drop
hits again and splits
into a million possibilities

each droplet a mirror and
viewfinder microscope
reflecting the infinite closeup

one chooses me and the
day unwinds in the cool
spray of the ultimate ocean

day after day
another and another
and eventually
we’re all soaked
to the bone

we have our feet wet but
none of us can hold our
breath long enough to know

so it’s each day another
and another a peek into
now through a liquid pinhole

day after day
another and another
and eventually
we’re all soaked
to the bone

epw 2.12.08 perrysburg, oh

words fill my mouth
in a deep kiss that
won’t let go none of
which makes sense
but like haiku means
everything

short and long in
syllables and lips
only the essence
remains told again
the simplest way
inside

the first syllable
and a sound long forgotten
we are born from this

a wordless code in
lips without words
speaking in tongues
silently invoking the
spirit of the divine
moment

the first syllable
and a sound long forgotten
we are born from this

epw 2.11.08 perrysburg, oh

once again the sun
makes like a ray of
hope it burns through
the cold and wind a
laserbeam heartbeat

i’ll squint my eyes i’ll
squint my eyes and
everything will blend
together melting into
one complete truth

don’t look directly
don’t look directly
it’s too much
all at once
it’s too much
all at once

it’s hard to know what
is greater the ice at
the poles or the sun
at the equator every
one feels it sometime

don’t look directly
don’t look directly
it’s too much
all at once
it’s too much
all at once

epw 2.10.08 perrysburg, oh

sun glazed morning
the sea has receded
trees no longer poke
through the backyard
mirror my flimsy raft
at rest wedded to the
hillside once again

so this is how it is the
rising and falling again
and again i can’t stop
my fascination with it
i am consumed by
its aggressive and
ceaseless repetition

i throw myself in and
out of it unable to lose
my hold on my own
ability to make up my
mind as if i have a
choice there is nothing
else there is only this

drink up starfish drink
up you’re running dry
the tides will roll in and
away before you know
it we are flotsam and
jetsam each of us wait
in low tidepools slowly
dissolving in the sun

epw 2.9.08 perrysburg, oh

no morning plausible
ricochet
ricochet
i bounce through today
trying to hit every part
at least once

no mourning possible
explain
explain
the wager between
impulse and action
a death note

the heart a sea
it rises and falls
rises and falls its
mysteries beneath

no warning permissible
refrain
refrain
throw yourself entirely
into the unknown
at least once

the heart a sea
it rises and falls
rises and falls its
mysteries beneath

no morning plausible
ricochet
ricochet
i bounce through today
trying to hit every part
at least once

epw 2.8.08 perrysburg, oh

i am standing in the middle
of yesterday surrounded
by water anchored and
ringing my bell i am a buoy

where are you
where did you go
i’ve put out seeds
to lure you back

how can you rise to meet
each wave rolling toward
you tethered to the
bottom please cut me free

i dreamt the water lapping
at the walls in my cellar was
my own personal ocean
i charted it searching for you

where are you
where did you go
a heart is broken
be a miracle

epw 2.7.08 perrysburg, oh

water everywhere
it’s seeping though the cracks
i am floating in it
my house a flimsy raft
and me no casual stowaway

it keeps pushing its
way in and i keep pushing it
back again a grim
game and the outcome
inevitable water always wins

look for higher ground
or dive in deep
either escape
or accept fate

the house drifting now
no compass or charts adrift i
concede to this
strange sea rising water
older than time conquers all

look for higher ground
or dive in deep
either escape
or accept fate

epw 2.6.08 perrysburg, oh

every disappearing act
has something to show
for it
winter to water
darkness to light
even the new moon
is full again

venus has given up her
hold on the night and i
miss her
winter to winter
daytime to night
even the full moon
is new again

wash away
wash away
every morning
something lost
every morning
something new

every exchange made
trades in loss and gain
as if
winter is water
darkness is night
or that the moon
can be new again

wash away
wash away
every morning
something lost
every morning
something new

epw 2.5.08 perrysburg, oh

in love we are made
invisible
we become a vortex
into each other

the outside world ceases
while we tumble
into an existence unseen
and unknown

created first by fingertips
then lips
and eventually everything
that can’t be said
is a struggle
of doubt
and desire

in love we are made
invisible
we become a vortex
into each other

epw 2.4.08 perrysburg, oh

it’s all standing still
behind the house
trees silent and motionless
the white sky mirrors the
ground and recedes into
railway dreams of escape

underneath sleepers
sleep thirty-three
heartbeats in an hour while
mine skips and murmurs
rumors of memory sighs
of the morning and you

silence
i have disturbed you
forgive me
silence
i don’t understand

my ears ring and i slow
myself wondering how
much longer how many more
days i haven’t counted
i’m afraid to look i know
you are getting sleepy

silence
i have disturbed you
forgive me
silence
i don’t understand

epw 2.3.08 perrysburg, oh

all this talking about nothing
yes i am guilty i am guilty
i have forgotten birthdays
i’ve wasted too much time
yes i am guilty i am guilty

last night i dreamt i was
teaching kids to fly but they
just threw food i wanted to
hear their songs i made fun
of bob dylan he was there

he said
this ain’t no part of nuthin’
this ain’t no part of nuthin’

i handed ‘66 dylan a notebook
the photos flashed and he
laughed his eyes closed
behind shades as he wrote
the talmud of dirt and speed

he said
that ain’t no part of nuthin’
that ain’t no part of nuthin’

epw 2.2.08 perrysburg, oh

winter regardless
twists and pushes
upward and around
no smile or frown
just the work of cold
blown powder prism
reimagined impermanence
rounding off corners
and points dulling
the sharpness of
dawn skittering across
windows crackling
howling at no moon
pelting hunkered
rabbits shuddering
against inevitability

winter regardless
expands and
contacts barely
obeying invisible
boundaries of high
and low
no discontent
no seeds of death
merely perseverance
and purpose
without malice
or vengeance

winter regardless
rises in arabesques
and falls
fainting in spirals
of shimmering
temporary
powders
of cold

epw 2.1.08 perrysburg, oh

i can’t refuse touch’s touch
no there’s got to be another way
i can’t help it any more
no i can’t help it

the dust of ancient comets
has finally arrived and it is falling
it can’t be helped any more
no it can’t be helped

love is the invisible
illusion
found
sleeping
in empty boats

what splendor is this untouched
no there’s got to be another way
i can’t help it any more
no i can’t help it

love is the invisible
illusion
found
sleeping
in empty boats

epw 1.31.08 perrysburg, oh

days are not enough
we’re stretching the limits
pushing against both ends
squeezing in as much
as possible

how much can a day
take what’s the camel’s
straw where mother’s back
like sidewalk cracks comes
apart at the seams

i’m sleepwalking
i’m no longer dreaming
let’s redraw days
let’s redraw days
together

my bones are glass
strung with rubber bands
wrapped in onionskin and
glue the wind threatens
to erase me

i’m sleepwalking
i’m no longer dreaming
let’s redraw days
let’s redraw days
together

epw 1.30.08 perrysburg, oh

everything here is a mirror
each a tiny fraction glittering
abstraction some assembly
required crackerjack lick and
stick picture book portrait

here my childhood there
my heartbreak here’s my
yearbook it’s not done
yet i’ve almost swallowed
it whole we’re all in pieces

i’ll let you pick and choose
put me together any way you like
it’s always the same
it’s always the same

we’re all a million pieces
blown all over kingdom
come we spend the rest
of our lives picking them
up wherever we find them

i’ll let you pick and choose
put me together any way you like
it’s always the same
it’s always the same

epw 1.29.07 perrysburg, oh

i ask myself
oh i ask myself
what’s with this waiting
oh i ask myself what’s
this waiting for

you can’t hold
oh you can’t hold
out you can’t hold a
grudge against this
town anymore

this is not giving in
this is not giving up
my spring is out of season
i’m a crocus
poking out of the snow

i had it all wrong
oh i had it all wrong
i thought you were
sleeping but i was me
who wasn’t awake

this is not giving in
this is not giving up
my spring is out of season
i’m a crocus
poking out of the snow

epw 1.28.08 perrysburg, oh

i could linger here forever
but what good what that do
all good things come to
those who wait and all things
come to an end

spinning means darkness
and light warmth and cold it
cycles through and through
we’re here then gone until our
place is taken

rise and fall with me
rise and fall
just like the seas with me
rise and fall

sundays wither on vines
of lazy backpedaling there’s
no use resisting the
inevitability of monday here
we’ll be again

rise and fall with me
rise and fall
just like the seas with me
rise and fall

epw 1.27.08 perrysburg, oh

don’t think twice
once is almost enough
everything is becoming
something anything
still here we wait

remember running
through rows of corn dry
green over our heads
i wanted to embrace
the getting lost

oh
the endless possibility
of loss
rejoice and
savor the strange

i still spin until
i’m disoriented i long
to wake up and wonder
where i am confused
for a moment

oh
the endless possibility
of loss
rejoice and
savor the strange

epw 1.26.08 perrysburg, oh

friday a dustspeck promise
a countdown to release the
edge of a disappearing act
into effortless blue simplicity

here nothing is everything
and everything is nothing
here touch shatters silence
licked up by wordless words

let’s send our bodies out
to run errands
while here we pull
the blankets over our heads

we will return again and again
each more subtle than the last
rendering ourselves from the
wild clay of our own desire

let’s send our bodies out
to run errands
while here we pull
the blankets over our heads

epw 1.25.08 perrysburg, oh

the moon is ripe again already
it seems like just yesterday
you turned away and goodnight
i waved but here you are again
venus has left you icy and pale
your dusty smile hides eons of
pain cursed to die and be born
again every almost thirty days
never enough time to love in
return always the ashen object
of desire never the warm touch
of commitment only the lewd
howls of wild lunatic gratification
forever you light the secrets of
myth and longing the eternal
voyeur your heart breaking
with each gasp and lovemaking
you can only reflect not
radiate it is all someone else’s
not yours you long for release
but you are pulled closer as
you struggle to escape the seas
your sole unrequited love need
you their rising and falling not
enough to seduce you yet you
cannot give them up so you
spin and spin endlessly you
turn and turn again and again
and i will be here i understand
and we both know there’s nothing
we can do soon you will decline
then swell forever miscarrying
your infertile womb still keeps
it’s secrets only you know what
love really means it is absence
that defines what you are meant
to be

epw 1.24.08 perrysburg, oh

birds sawing away in trees asleep
dreaming what earthbound means
or what freedom wedded deep in
the sea might be there are dreams
of foot or fin behind tiny birdlids

i used to dream i was invisible
then i was for real until i could
be seen again i used the time to
decide between inside or outside
until i realized it was all the same

oh how does it come to this
how does it come to this
first we’re dreaming to leave
then we’re leaving to dream
oh how does it come to this

we'll be buried in all this pour it
on pour it on together we can wrap
ourselves in blankets made from
the dust of days stitched tight with
threads of spit from deepest kisses

oh how does it come to this
how does it come to this
first we’re dreaming to leave
then we’re leaving to dream
oh how does it come to this

epw 1.23.08 perrysburg, oh

so cold there’s only so far
you can draw yourself up
to stay warm there’s only
so much you can make
on your own

i lay in the mouth of blue
icicle works near the top
of mount time waiting for
the flood waiting for some
green hello

i’ll wait
yes i’ll wait
the less time
the longer it takes

patience you’re a scarcity i’ve
tossed you carelessly like
wing powder once removed
flight is impossible left walking
on awkward legs

i’ll wait
yes i’ll wait
the less time
the longer it takes

epw 1.22.08 perrysburg, oh

under a field
of glow in the dark stars
my skies turned bluer
than blue the floor and
walls disappearing
into ubiquious night

time and time
meet me here again
under phosphorescent
strange constellations
we’ll read them
together every night

dreams don’t have to die at dawn
dreams don’t have to die at dawn

the universe is
held together by unseen
glue the strongest bonds
holding all things together
are invisible trust
in what you feel

dreams don’t have to die at dawn
dreams don’t have to die at dawn

epw 1.21.08 anywhere, oh

turning
and turning back
so much
seemingly nothing
in a day
turns into
so much in year
everything
changes everything
origami moths
continue to flutter
and tumble
flowers still falling
from my mouth
and the course
of every moment
continually in flux
shaped
by wingbeats
and heart beats
every breath
issued in waves
an invisible
shallow sea
marked
by bells
and gulls lost
over ohio
found
in reverie
and poured
over moments
each sublime
in staggering
implication
each a sun
brilliant foundries
of arrows
forged on anvils
of tomorrow

epw 1.20.07 perrysburg, oh

a box of questions
and a jar full of answers
no way to put the two
together this is the
dilemma of wanting

does happiness go
with here do i turn left
or is that the wife of
here lies death pick
any two from the hat

i want to stop asking
but i’m afraid it’s the same
as giving up

what is the soul of asking
is the only question with
no answer let it float up
and away seeking the
slip of paper that says

don’t stop asking
don’t be afraid it’s the same
as giving up

epw 1.19.08 perrysburg, oh

the silver tongue sighs
the weary weep the
meek dream while lovers
plead and resistors resist
it’s all the same song

it’s not that complicated
even the parts we don’t
understand or the strange
harmony that spins and
twists up into space

it’s all the same song
the one we’re singing
every open mouth
from the first to the last
it’s all the same song

voices rise and carry like
newspapers in windstorms
fragments of clues swirling
like swallows pretending
they know every word

it’s all the same song
the one we’re singing
every open mouth
from the first to the last
it’s all the same song

epw 1.18.07 perrysburg, oh

can you hear this
close your eyes
and open them
again waking and
sleeping are the
same thing

there’s a painting
by brueghel in it
hunters fail heads
low skaters dance
below and the
earth rises

resistance is futile

tension fights to
pull a vibrating
string taut my
heart wrestles to
keep it in motion
forever

water the last great
explorer seeks its
own level we
splash until the
tension of surface
stops us

resistance is futile

epw 1.17.07 perrysburg, oh

now it’s the long walk
through winter from here
on out it’s the slow recession
of night and the gradual
ascent of day

i cannot decide if it’s best
to stand outside naked arms
stretched wide or retreat into warm
blankets and wait it out
here with you

at the end we’ll walk out into spring
and here i will be gone
will be gone

slowly descending i know
everything dies but it doesn’t
mean what’s in between isn’t what
we make of it i’m ready
are you

at the end we’ll walk out into spring
and here i will be gone
will be gone

epw 1.16.08 perrysburg, oh

i know it’s trying to tell
me something the new
snow this morning but i
don’t know what it is

it begs me to listen but
i cannot hear a thing i am
turning inside out white
flag waving i surrender

i give
easily
i give

last night i dreamt i was
falling a raindrop i was
falling toward you i was
trying not to miss you

i give
easily
i give

epw 1.15.08 perrysburg, oh

i fall into day
now the place of
dreams and
pretend
night instantly
no longer
the hours of
make believe
but still i
escape under
the swelling
of the moon
where the
affirmation of
love plays
where the glow
of electricity
warms the dark
day has slipped
into a cold slumber
and i am trapped
in between
while night waits
to regain its sleepy
crown of dreams
and sand
from day
it’s jealous
half-sister

epw 1.14.08 perrysburg, oh

louis armstrong
on the radio as
i waited for you
wishing it was us
watching ohio
shoot by out the
windows

sad columbus
and three hours
of nothing in
between except
lost time and a
fading sense of
reality

a slingshot into oblivion
and you’re gone
is one touch
too much to ask

stardust on a
weary 78 young
sachmo the growl
already haloed in
bell brass and
moonlight i’ve
almost forgotten

a slingshot into oblivion
and you’re gone
is one touch
too much to ask

epw 1.13.07 perrysburg, oh

words oh words
you fail me again
and again the
universe in my
belly a strange
vessel expanding
without you i’m
coming apart at
the seams

spiraling spiraling
heat light and wave
pushing outward
and me a vault
i beg you
the key or tumble
the lock i am
ready to rain my
cloud is full

every word here
a forgery of feeling
each a failure
emotions wild
rearing to run head-
on into and over
the fence a flood
to change maps
forever is rising

epw 1.12.08 perrysburg, oh

here
made it through again
but how to fill
the in between
of sleep and dreams

days
are sharp and jagged
and me softer
than before i am
already torn to bits

make something count
make something count
there’s no getting out

wait
they say until danger
passes but it
never does it waits
making strange alliances

make something count
make something count
there’s no getting out

epw 1.11.08 perrysburg, oh

we’ll all be forever someday
or never
they’re both the same thing
devices we’ve imagined
to measure everything
in between

what does the junebug know
of never
there’s no difference to him
being or not just to buzz
slowly across a damp
summer night

count backwards
from one hundred
eyes closed
do it with me

soon i’ll stop counting i know
the long
and short of it depending
on memory the magician
of revision and grids of
abstraction

count backwards
from one hundred
eyes closed
do it with me

epw 1.10.07 perrysburg, oh

oooooooooh
oooooooooh

a crystal lattice structure
electrons frozen in a
silicon mummy of memory
circuits dance
circuits dance

aaaaaaaaaaah
aaaaaaaaaaah

anatomy in bright wire
solder jewels beetle
bug resistors and transistors
circuits dance
circuits dance

and here we meet like
scientists of the soul
we plug in our hearts so that
circuits dance
circuits dance

epw 1.9.08 perrysburg, oh

act 1

the action passes under starlight and blankets. a room at winter night, dark but aglow from stars and a gibbous moon. under blankets oddly lefty noodles and twenty secrets lay apart, staring at a disappearing ceiling.

lefty noodles (a beekeeper):

the ceiling recedes
and we lie here apart
yet together what is
to be made of this

twenty secrets (a honey collector):

who are you and
what am i or we all
this is a dream or a
hopeless invention

lefty noodles:

stardust we are all
glitter inside but no
gold cold until the
touch reactor ignites us

chorus:

the delirious event chain
the future impossible
and the temperature drops

twenty secrets (moves close):

starlight is cold millions
of years old most
dead the rest dying
once we see it’s too late

lefty noodles (moves closer):

then why wait why wait
every day we waste
we drop away fate is a
harlequin a mannequin

twenty secrets (closer still, now touching):

all right let’s ignite starlight
of our own device heat
without light but tonight we
dance and dance again

chorus:

the delirious event chain
the future regardless
and the temperature rises

(curtain) lefty noodles and twenty secrets fall asleep simultaneously dreaming, each in a universe of their own creation.

epw 1.8.08 perrysburg, oh

dutifully you rise
slowly expanding
one day no longer
a hunter your fate
falling to artemis
finally relieved

within you nebulae
exploding and still
motionless frozen
in deep space
as if from stone by
praxiteles hewn

cold and colder
deeper and deeper
banging the gate
until daybreak

a construction of
imagination your
bow and belt an
abstract conundrum
light years between
us and what you are

the goat and bull
forever behind you
for millennia no prey
yet ever vigilant but
dull you drift at the
ready silent and dead

cold and colder
deeper and deeper
banging the gate
until daybreak

epw 1.7.08 perrysburg, oh

i am exhausted
from sleeping
the night a drama
where i attempt
to put things right
travel endlessly
and astrally on
land flesh and sea
accomplishing
little remaining
motionless actually
while everything
before and around
me swells like a
rabbit in spring
ripe with rabbits
and it is the memory
of touch and caress
that slowly spins
back into the illusion
vortex my body
slumped sleepily
from sleeping in
my morning chair
as i make every
effort to hold on to
the nightlife where
the answer was yes
and affirmation was
rendered in
flesh

epw 1.6.08 perrysburg, oh

morning too much
i have thought to
sing you here but
how much is too
much never enough

morning my song
time my prayer
rhyme my eyes
still asleep these
strings an enigma

morning daughter
of night mother of
day pregnant again
and again i issue
from your belly

morning glory is
yours in you my
dreams still real my
pain is numb and i
write automatically

epw 1.5.07 perrysburg, oh

sometimes the only way out
is up so i surrender myself to
buoyancy bubbles race me
to the surface

up out and above i continue
to rise hands on naked arms
caress me as i slip from sea
to the night sky

grindstones
and tombstones
are but anchors
cut them off
or remain forever
fastened to the bottom

always an embrace the night
a lover accepting me without
question every time i return my
ascent continues

grindstones
and tombstones
are but anchors
cut them off
or remain forever
fastened to the bottom

epw 1.4.07 perrysburg, oh

work
a grindstone
made from recycled
tombstones
is grinding me
into millet

unfit
for any bread
i will line the pans
so another
can be released
with ease

work
a landfill
into which ambition
is tossed
slowly poisoning
the well

there
discarded i
await my conversion
from spent
ashes of inspiration
to dust

epw 1.3.07 perrysburg, oh

i’m living cold this winter
i rattle and hold myself
close piling on clothes
like a phantom embrace

fingers sluggish to the
point of gross sincerity
emerging from under
blankets an absurdity

remember this in august
remember this in august

the house creaks oddly
as ice crystals push their
way outward into barriers
between me and snow

no complaint from me
hands to my mouth robed
in blankets a monk in the
order of six sided surrender

remember this in august
remember this in august

epw 1.2.08 perrysburg, oh

again up before the dawn
chimes clatter in the owl light
the sad pops and sparkles in
the neighbors’ yard last night
a cheap eulogy to last year and
this one christened by red-eyed
boozy kisses planted on the
mouths of delirious strangers

i have not made the transition
yet fidgeting instead under
blankets sleepless the night
swirling fattening itself on
loneliness stingy with dreams
quarreling with stars refusing
their light like a bully who beats
because he knows he’s wrong

here i mark out days in a year
of my own invention in a ritual
of embarrassment and failure
broken up by gleaming jewels
of radiant light and joy like david
stars small glowing and defiant
against the dull vast mystery
of night the lingering goliath

epw 1.1.08 perrysburg, oh

reason enough
though it is arbitrary
to reflect
assess
and lay to rest
the past

resolutions are
for parties and change
for the best
or worst
comes like
it or not

the future a codeless code
a magnetic mystery
a lamia’s kiss

the only embrace
fierce to reciprocate
is now
this moment
the only truth
to know

i resolve to dream
to patch my leaks and
to reflect
assess
and lay to rest
my past

the future a codeless code
a magnetic mystery
a lamia’s kiss

epw 12.31.07 perrysburg, oh

ruth stone’s house
on a vermont mountain
like a movie set
fifty years before
i was born

in 1989 we snaked
our way through old
forge and into
ferry addled vermont
on muddy roads

there we slept
under frayed gingham
between dingy
floral farmhouse walls
ruth above us

and in the morning
woodstove frypan eggs
before the ride
into town for a lawnmower
on the blue jay way

later in your yard
waist deep in grasses
i cut a snake
in two and cried you
nearly 75 glowed and
consoled me

the printing press
in the barn silent and rusting
that night candlelight
at your summer bedside
you were sick and asked
us to stay

but i already had legs
for wisconsin and ohio my
bags packed
lakes michigan and erie
strange attractors i found
your book today

epw 12.30.07 perrysburg, oh

first needles
then needles and pins
sometimes the heart
needs a good pounding

religious icons
and ancient amphorae
smelling of fish hold no
candle to light and color

a coney island small enough
to fit in your pocket
take it wherever you go

your love of
laughs and grouchy waiters
like classic film and houndstooth
makes nervousness easy

this year has
only a few breaths left then
another and more and more
you’ve been here before

a coney island small enough
to fit in your pocket
take it wherever you go

epw 12.29.07 perrysburg, oh

the days always run into each other
this time each year as the old slips
quietly away into the new no urgency
or fanfare just another page to turn

for ten days no need for clocks or
calendars i quickly find a rhythm of
light and dark regardless of springs
or grids i measure time in heartbeats

soon what we call the new year given
a different number and an adjusted
flawed outline in twelve will wrap itself
around me tightening behind my back

but for now i will lose myself in days
uncounted unaccountable for recalling
what number or name we’ve stamped
on this countless moon fall and sun arc

epw 12.28.07 perrysburg, oh

you don’t want to hear this
i dreamt us together
intertwined laughing
where i ended and you began
was the same thing

at least safe in dreams nothing
upsets any of this and
living lifetimes of open
mouthed reciprocal secret passion
needn’t be discussed

how can you know
it’s better this way

and now i turn the house down
earlier and earlier hoping
dreams are kind asleep
in the same dream we know not
knowing the other knows

and that laughter touch tongue
and skin warm flushed
red urgent and aloof all
surging under breath and kiss
cares for thursday today

how can you know
it’s better this way

bhagiti 12.27.07 perrysburg, oh

you don’t have to look
before you leap
just be sure you’re ready
to start flapping

it’s no big deal we’re just
pebbles or paper
cranes either way we’ll
survive the fall

the only way to know what you’re made of
is to look inside

oh i got hung up on the
moon and sea
harsh mistresses of airless
indifference

i’m ready for dry ground
living soil the
truth of every moment
happily lost

the only way to know what you’re made of
is to look inside

epw 12.26.07 perrysburg, oh

and here’s where the sky
sparkling chandelier of joy
and sadness makes its way
on the morning of
the morning

wise or fool we all follow
our star and seek our truth
what we find there is what
we make of it
this morning

less than what we imagine
is always more
than what we bargain for

so across skies or deserts
celestial light reflected in our
eyes the warmth of peace and
joy in our hearts
this morning

all our unfortunate heads
forgiven again and again this
our calliope of lights and sparkles
round we go
this morning

less than what we imagine
is always more
than what we bargain for

epw 12.25.07 perrysburg, oh

monday morning
like so many before
forgotten or lost to
careless apathy
today you will glow

every day a wonder
unnoticed lost to
careless distraction
too many times
too much goes lost

just think about it once each time
just think about it once each time

yesterday is always
gone tomorrow is
always a dream the
moment that means
anything is this one

just think about it once each time
just think about it once each time

bhagiti 12.24.07 perrysburg, oh

what’s this all about
it’s hard trying to keep it
from getting knocked out

if only we could remember
if only we could remember

is it the heart or mind
an easy answer but math fails
and a sightless heart is blind

if only we could get it right
if only we could get it right

to every scarf
left on every train
to every candy cane
still in it’s box with
no kid’s tooth to kiss
to every card unsent
and the office
of dead letters
otherwise known as
the north pole

to everyone today
who wonders
what’s this all about
and everyone without

it’s always been the heart
it’s always been the heart

epw 12.23.07 perrysburg, oh

i had it my hands again last night
a tape i made long ago
the best thing i ever did
or will do

the last time i had it in my hands
i listened to it for the first
time since i recorded it
and i shook

it’s out there somewhere
i know
i will find a way someday
to bring it through

last night there was no time for that
i had to hold on tight and
wait for morning i pressed it
to my heart

of course i awoke to nothing not
a trace nothing but a fading
memory and a horrible
cold silence

it’s out there somewhere
i know
i will find a way someday
to bring it through

bhagiti 12.22.07 perrysburg, oh

this week’s snow is
dissolving
soft unbroken
white glimmering
nothing to hold on to
he wants
it to snow again and
again and
hide ugliness
under soft jewelry
to hold on to
everything green
hidden underneath
is his
and everything
there’s nothing to hold on to
that can’t be given back
green
hidden underneath
is his
there’s nothing to hold on to
everything underneath
is his
there’s nothing to dissolve
and everything green
hidden underneath
be given back
eat rabbit
eat
there’s nothing to hold on nothing to hold on to
to hold on to
everything
that can’t
be given back
is his

epw 12.21.07 perrysburg, oh

in the auditorium
i was the director
without direction
everyone waited
for a sign and i was
among them

there were only fragments
there was no beginning
or end

we all pooled in the
orchestra the lights
glowed and we all
fifty or eighty sang
eerie and beautiful

i think i know what it means
there is no beginning
or end

soon it was over and
we started to clear
suddenly everything
changed and among
friends i recognized
no one

yes that’s how it has to be
there is no beginning
or end

epw 12.20.07 perrysburg, oh

day and night have ceased to exist
for me they are two opposite ends
of the same thing dark in dark out
and yellow light waking
through the middle

and what to fill the rest with it’s
missing something i can’t put my
finger on it’s missing something
to put my finger on and
hold a little

hullo midnight
let’s be asleep in the same dream
hullo midnight
let’s be asleep in the same dream

it’s all too obscure but there’s no
other way to say it so you won’t
know i spoil it with talk anyway
let’s be quiet now and
kiss the riddle

hullo daylight
let’s be asleep in the same dream
hullo daylight
let’s be asleep in the same dream

epw 12.19.07 perrysburg, oh

outside
it was cold dark and still
the snow frozen in a pose
it has held for two days

inside
i lay cold and dreaming
i touched all the rings and
folded myself in a chair

into every door
i was looking

outside
the moon’s thin grin through
trees sillouettes of sleeping
hawks and doves play

inside
it’s everything i can do to
avoid serpents and the alarm
both conspiring to keep me

from looking
into every door

i was looking
for a purple pillow

epw 12.18.07 perrysburg, oh

about six hours
as the crow flies
like the six hundred trillion
six sided glittering diamonds
per six square feet
six inches deep

six strings and six silver
threads tie us to
constellations no longer
visible through the snow
obscured by street lamps
falling from out of nowhere
falling against
our faces separated
by states and
whatever else
unknown

may six and six
my birth year in sixes
your birthday a revelation
a jubilation in december
i imagine snow every time
what has it been for you
do you feel as miraculous
as glorified
and sublime
as you should
you too deserve
gold
frankincense
and
myrrh

a child of december
lights on trees
won’t burn as brightly
no sparkle
as beautiful
and unsung
no nativity
or miracle of light
means more than you
tonight

epw 12.17.07 perrysburg, oh

it doesn’t matter that we don’t
know the way what is lost
anyway but just an excuse
to be found

the road ahead a bow untied
and behind ribbons fall
away twisting blue black and
red as veins

the mind wanders
the heart stays

press your face against the glass
fog it up with your dreams
about losing yourself in some
whistle-stop town

but i know you better than that
you get restless when that
whistle stops you’ll follow some
other pied piper

the mind wanders
the heart stays

some souls are leaky baskets
pouring out over the floor
to be mopped up by some fool
you’ll never know

the mind wanders
the heart stays

epw 12.16.07 perrysburg, oh

winter o winter
bury me
bury me

i can feel you
in my teeth
in my teeth

i’ve waited long
enough

i’ve waited long
enough

i’m ready
i’m ready

winter o winter
bury me
bury me

epw 12.15.07 perrysburg, oh

i thought i’d wake up
to snow but not a
single flake had fallen
just the flattened pale
grass covered by
darkness

love too waits and falls
on its own terms never
what we expect
some mornings a wilted
yellow garden
and others
a shimmering blanket of
silver waiting in the waning
moonlight

epw 12.14.07 perrysburg, oh

we built a rickety houseboat
and headed down the river
we were taking water on fast
but then who isn’t

there was a nativity in the back
underneath the gas lantern
there were no gifts nobody
there but us loons

we raised no flag
upon this ship of fools

we tossed and bailed out the
river i cast a line and hooked
something unseen under the
chuclking water

up to our knees the green paint
peeled revealing rusty nails
the lantern went out our savior
was long gone

we raised no flag
upon this ship of fools

epw 12.13.07 perrysburg, oh

the phone was really designed
to keep people apart
draw your own conclusions
who’s on the other end
you never know

sometimes imagination is
much worse than reality
ghosts and money
are both monograms
of the dead

i pasted up words like a fool
the intended smile
the only thing of value
in any envelope was
undeliverable

i can’t tell you everything
there’s not enough time
let it go

epw 12.12.07 perrysburg, oh

for the third morning
in a row the alarm and
the train whistle let
loose at the same
exact moment

sometimes i feel like
i’m climbing a glass ladder
that leads out of sight
into the sky it leans
against a vision

it’s cold here
my blankets
are floating away

but how many more
horrible old haunted
houses and sad gloom
do i have to dream up
before the end

so lick your finger and
stick it in the air to see
which way the wind is
blowing i’ll be stuck
here for a while

it’s cold here
my blankets
have floated away

epw 12.11.07 perrysburg, oh

your pictures didn’t make
it through the second time
the plates already scoured
with naphtha and wool wiped
clean of any memory

and after all what is real
trapped in tin zinc or glass
a frozen stare a forced smile
a fight earlier in the day before
one big happy family

picture book
a catalog of ghosts

no soul is stolen when one
doesn’t exist in the first place
the shoe boxes full of empty
husks and yellow cellophane
attachments betray

picture book
a catalog of ghosts

epw 12.10.07 perrysburg, oh

sleepless i was a carnival
of lights and images flashing
and a hundred different tunes
all playing at the same time

all of it was a game a joke a
trick to keep me from the dream
i know will come where what i
pretend can’t happen does

maybe it’s better this way
maybe it’s better

for my own good or not i
have peeked behind the
iridescent curtain to glimpse
the blurry fata morgana

maybe it’s better this way
maybe it’s better

epw 12.9.07 perrysburg, oh

there was a time
when it was all untold
before we believed
we were gonna get old

that’s when the moon
made sense she was a
looker then now she’s
just another pie in the sky

the willow weeps
for no one here
it’s just another tree
struck down
by my own hands

gardens come and
fishes go to unseen
plateaus and slippery
oceans green

you can wait for me
or you can leave
either way this silver
light will always be

the willow weeps
for no one here
it’s just another tree
struck down
by my own hands

epw 12.8.07 perrysburg, oh

creeping
creeping
creeping

i am
creeping along

i’m tired
i’m tired
i’m tired

my hands
don’t know what to do

i am
creeping along

epw 12.7.07 perrysburg, oh

you made all your plans
and now look
your head’s in your hands
and you’d trade it all
and you’d trade it all
for the truth mirror
for the truth mirror

what were you thinking
what were you thinking

there isn’t a blackbird
worth his pennies
filched from some kid’s ear
wouldn’t trade it all
wouldn’t trade it all
for a soothsayer
for a soothsayer

what were you dreaming
what were you dreaming

no skipping winter
like so many stones

let go of the wheel
close your eyes
close your eyes

epw 12.6.07 perrysburg, oh

there is a time when the light is just right
that halfway point between daylight and night
when the sky for a second is silver before
it slips into blue and out to black

like a ball on a rubber band out it goes and
just before is snaps back for a terrible moment
everything stops before reversing directions
and it all comes hurtling back

between heartbeats
and breaths
each time everything stops
and for a moment we are dead

everything that falls rises again new each time
recreated in endless variations on the same theme
arabesques or dreams and geometry unseen
death is the responsibility of math

between heartbeats
and breaths
each time everything stops
and for a moment we are dead

epw 12.5.07 perrysburg, oh

i snuck out of the new apartment
all bricks and windows
with my cassette tape camera
to record the bush
the playback was all footsteps
and gravel
i didn’t see you
when you moved in
you were sleeping so i drove
in to morning town
and realized i made it all the way
home
i saw my brother return to work
and i followed him in
they buzzed me up to the attic
where we drank honey and talked
about rainy day women
he mimed a slide guitar lip sync mishap
and we both laughed

epw 12.4.07 perrysburg, oh

somewhere between
all of this and all of that
three crows in the yard
hold their conference

i don’t know what they
are about but i know it
has something to do
with you it’s obvious

have you sent them
are you waiting
for their return
they are talking
among themselves

i was once a crow too
when i was young thin
and dark always alone
cawing in bare trees

they see me looking at
them through the window
and know i have forgotten
the rule of branch and wire

maybe it all
means nothing but
shrouded in black
they are talking
among themselves

epw 12.3.07 perrysburg, oh

angels of the first midwest
slow moving silver blanket
drop like tiny glittering six-sided
randomly generated equations

each a lifetime and a moment
enigmas we all solved long ago
but forgot scratching our heads
over the beakers dice and math

the neighbor’s robot idiot moon
burns out the cobalt and the black
discussion of night and melts
away shadows of ghost deer

drop drop drop
around me
keep falling
down down down
endless repetition
a simple formula
we will never
fully understand

epw 12.2.07 perrysburg, oh

it’s van
astral weeks
and all i can think
sweet thing
sugar baby
two lesters

a
romilar romantic
rock & roll
conquered in a car seat
holy ghost

and a
volkswagen camper van
dad brother
uncle cherry wine
tears inside

lester
lester

epw 12.1.07 perrysburg, oh

it’s not big news thirteen
years too late but for me
you died today
and you die again
each time someone
finds and loses you

in newark rows of ailanthus
ghetto palms sigh and sag
trees of the
cat piss smelling
gods of chinatown
chimeras of your mercy

how much loss your thirty nine
years too soon degraded but
beautiful lost
and found again
like the real jazz
a fleeting moment

the door you fell through to the
underworld exists only here
now no more
your wilderness
a single bird created
by its own ornithology

lynda hull 1954-1994

epw 11.30.07 perrysburg, oh

i want our truth to become wishes
put the genie back into the bottle
let her sleep eight million years
is long enough

can you age my guesses you know
the rumors they’re all worth living once
before condemning what we all
want to be

like seagulls over ohio
we’re so far from home
nobody told us
this isn’t
the sea

you’re born again and die each time
you think the moon will be true and
she loves only you but we both know
better than that

like seagulls over ohio
we’re so far from home
nobody told us
this isn’t
the sea

bhagiti 11.29.07 perrysburg, oh

what kind of limit do you put
on careless love careless dreams
the spider gently bobbles down
invisible silks a geometry all
her own nowhere else and nowhere
between

i used to think life was a rope
twisted together strands of uncles
and aunts mom and dad something
to hold on to or let go pull yourself
up or be pulled along hooked to some
mystery

it was always
climbing branches for bees
climbing branches for bees
it was always
no sleep
no sleep

until the anatomy of a thrush
like mangled roots laid open by
some thief of desire a sublime kiss
of iridescence revealing the illusion
of the rope and that my hold on it was
a lie

it was always
all forests and no trees
all forests and no trees
it was always
the sea
the sea

bhagiti 11.28.07 perrysburg, oh

the set in stone is never and
expectations always fail falling
short of possibilities eroded
our subconscious limitations

disappointment never notices
the beauty of the unanticipated
the thrill in the unexpected the
seductive caress of the scarce

untie me untie me
let water dance
across my hand

uncarve the stones erase the
lines return books to leaves
forget it all forget it all the instant
just before the idea is the truth

untie me untie me
first snow melts
down my cheeks

untie me untie me
let water dance
across my hand

bhagiti 11.27.07 perrysburg, oh

a tiny horse
and inside
a sewing machine

a telephone
and inside
a skeleton
some playing cards
and a die

call me
call me

we’ll sew oats
and blankets
underneath
we’ll gamble
and wake
the dead

call me
call me

bhagiti 11.26.07 perrysburg, oh

sitting against the cold
the neighbor’s light
in direct competition
against the seventh
full moon a six-winged
sparkle flickers before
me smiles and is gone

the theorem
beautiful only
when wrong

i am still and not yet half
awake the light directly
in front of me deceives
as do my dreams my
willingness to believe
in the instant and trust
the wisdom of impulse

the theorem
beautiful only
when wrong

bhagiti 11.25.07 perrysburg, oh

a cooper’s hawk
clearly visible
in the bare
branches watches
me bring in
the yard chair
far off
in the distance
winter heaves
in anticipation

something under the leaves
rustles
we both
look

i request an
apprenticeship
in fantasy
my research should
clearly prove
that we are not
trying
hard enough
to escape
the banal

even empty-headed
baloons
let loose
rise

bhagiti 11.24.07 perrysburg, oh

it’s all a lie we pretend
we can do without
that we’d give it up
in an instant trading
it for what we build
from the ground up
every night under
the moon and the
blanket dreaming it
into a temporary non
reality that we walk
out of somewhere
between waking and
water for the coffee
a smile erased by
the first person to
break the silence
of the day already
having theirs vanish
moments before like
everyone else every
day we desperately
wait for the blankets
and darkness so once
again architects of
invisible maths and
abstraction we can rebuild
ourselves anew to be
dropped in a world
where possibilities
like starlight echoing
across raindrops in the
night pines are endless

bhagiti 11.23.07 perrysburg, oh

thank you
everything brown
green
and in between
the backyard
thistle angels
the flashlight
shown through
pinholes

thank you
everyone brown
green
and in between
big or small
you all know
who you are
here or not
i love you

bhagiti 11.22.07 perrysburg, oh

when all your basket’s
in one egg
make it last
make it last
the night rushes away
each light the ancient history
of a star or some other wish
a sparkling jewel reminder

careful now don’t break
it down or
fall apart
fall apart
fifty billion wishes still
to come true fifty billion more
to be made before the end
of today each one smiles

if you come before
your egg
it’s over
it’s over
toss your basket aside
you’ve spent it all and across
the road with every other
chicken you wait your turn

bhagiti 11.21.07 perrysburg, oh

swiss road the beaver falls
backlot behind the wall of
sleep i am discovered here
there is no hiding no retreat

small fires burn and cars
rumble through the night next
door on either side work creeps
closer a fungus attached to me

go back
go back
you’re not meant
to be here

a week becomes months and
a day over in an instant no
teary goodbye really rids you
of the overstayed welcome

go back
go back
you’re not meant
to be here

i won’t step foot in your dreams
if you stay out of mine

bhagiti 11.20.07 perrysburg, oh

dust falling outside
each tiny speck winged
heart beating and faceless
each a mirror and a lamp

they hit the ground running
and disappear their errands
a secret their existence a
mystery each irreplaceable

rags
rags
i live lifetimes
under you
the manor house
and cave

this business outside has
me in a trance through my
window the moon explodes
a billion times shimmering

rags
rags
i live lifetimes
under you
the manor house
and cave

bhagiti 11.19.07 perrysburg, oh

i was twenty three between
binghamton and elmira and
this time it was horses far into
green pennsylvania horses

by the time i hit elmira it was
already too late i knew what it
all meant the yew tree and the
getting there amnesiac of stings

somewhere between love and
spring holocaust and honey hung
in the balance and for ariel you
were an unlikely peeled godiva

by now elmira and me under the
dusty moon your thief of light and
all i could still see were horses far
into green pennsylvania and i was

crying
in elmira
sylvia
sylvia

bhagiti 11.18.07 perrysburg, oh

three planes spinning
out of control and me
falling broken into trees
each time

a glass submarine deep
in the green weeds blue
implodes upon me miles
underneath

gravity
gravity
undersea
undersea
let go
your hold on me

all that breathing water
deep and floating at ease up
and into trees like when i was
a kid

now it’s drowning and broken
bones what happened in
between i want to go back
again

gravity
gravity
undersea
undersea
let go
your hold on me

bhagiti 11.17.07 perrysburg, oh

my breath becomes
blue ice crystals
falling and shattering
at my feet tiny jewels
skittering under leaves
dissolving disappearing

what if we could all
forget what we
never stop remembering
grind it all into millet
and bake it into bread
and feed it to the birds

oh misery misery
comfort me
be my company

there’s so much i
won’t tell but
it’s obvious it’s all here
between the lines right
between the eyes like
diamonds for starlight

i once taped a sigh
to a tear
and passed it off as a
lucky charm though all
it ever brought me were
three tart little berries

oh misery misery
comfort me
oh misery misery
comfort me
be my company

bhagiti 11.16.07 perrysburg, oh

cadence
another day like
so many
just before the
last of night is
burned away

can the painter
lead the band
we’re surely off
the rails

patience
i cannot match
the pace
of the dawn just
before dark
is split apart

gracious
is the lingering of
night the
last holdout the
final breath the
hidden door

can the poet
lose a hand
we’re surely off
the rails

bhagiti 11.15.07 perrysburg, oh

a woman says something
about a couch and you’re
off
or gone
you hammer under a line
both ancient and still
unwritten big and joyous
and sad
then everything changes
an inverted vortex you
ride hissing and clattering
in a trance an utterance low
and long less a moan more
an oooo you are now a
shaman of bells
and prophesy
warding off witches
and devils
eyes closed
oooo
you are all at once
now and forever
oooo
you are the silver cord
oooo
bells intone
the white-bearded
prophet will soon
be gone
oooo
but tonight
the east river prophecy
shrieks and murmurs
incandescent tongues
burn and cool
in the ears
oooo

bhagiti 11.14.07 perrysburg, oh

take heed
the endless blue shadow
inside you is soon to leave

so if you see me
if you see me

take heed
life is no pathless wood
you're bursting at the seams

when i was more of me
i was more of me

you see
there was the god of unwished
wishes each with a summons a
delirium and oath to wash up on
the shore beached breathing sand

take heed
you'll wear your mouth out if
you're not careful to swallow
your words gulp them like so
many fishes and old definitions

there was more of me
was more of me
there was more of me
was more of me

bhagiti 11.13.07 perrysburg, oh

oh light
oh light
oh light

such a scarcity on these
dwindling days ruled by
darkness and overcome
gray

oh light
oh light
oh light

like the dream paintings i
made dark with grime and
varnish i obliterated each
day

and last night in my sleep
my aunt’s house a gothic
horror in the attics of my
childhood room after room
of pale yellow light fighting
back the night most every
body i knew was there
but nobody recognized
me they laughed and put
me away

oh light
oh light
oh light

burn away these dreams
make no rarity concede
to darkness and rule the
day

bhagiti 11.12.07 perrysburg, oh

wait wait
the trees can’t stand
in our place
they have no regrets
they never forget
the hatchet they never
sat with their hands over their
face in some car

wait wait
can you regret all
the things
you never thought
regardless of
what you were taught
skip all the classes seek your
wisdom in the leaves

wait wait
weekend to weekend
a chain gang
work song striped shirt
camouflage for a
prison cell so you won’t
be seen better to be forgotten
than lost between

wait wait
you only get ten
hundred
thousand dreams and
chances are
you haven’t been keeping
track so dream carefully keep ‘em
in a box bedside

bhagiti 11.11.07 perrysburg, oh

there’s ringing in my ears
and my head full of bees

oh please
please
release
relief

let’s wire it all down until it
passes how much longer

oh please
please
mercy
release

bhagiti 11.10.07 perrysburg, oh

my mountain heart beats
windowless against the plains
ohio indiano stretchmarks
cut in by trains all sad in
browns and grays

sometimes in the morning
a wall of clouds fuchsia and
orange spill up on the horizon
and for a moment i am
deceived

we are not who we are
i am not where i am

and i’ll never be toledo
never be toledo
never toledo
never

i am going backwards in
time dragged forward blind
a sailor’s grave on the prairie
red and blue spiderwebs
and me a moth

we are not who we are

i am not where i am
and i’ll never be toledo
never be toledo
never toledo
never

bhagiti 11.9.07 perrysburg, oh

oh your yellow green
that grows and recedes
you pull the seas
and with wires unseen
dictate my dreams

in all this time i can't
get rid of what it is you
mean and i don't
even know what that is
or what you are

sometimes the ground feels good but never the same
attachments pull like gravity against the wing
in dreams we fly until we realize
it's only a dream

we hide and howl we
fool ourselves into thinking
we see ourselves or
someone else when half
is hidden in darkness

we'll pour out the doors
and flood the basement with
unrequited bewliderment
soon you'll be new again
while i wane

sometimes the ground feels good but never the same
attachments pull like gravity against the wing
in dreams we fly until we realize
it's only a dream

bhagiti 11.8.07 perrysburg, oh

first it’s one
followed by another
then there they are
a hark unnoticed
celebrated or cursed
each maybe fallen
before but differently
somewhere else
six sides never before
or to be again
each an audible
sigh a murmur that
deep in the adirondak
fall pats leaves
a sublime gamelon
barely audible but
no less overwhelming
today a whisper only
a hark unnoticed
of nights long breath
visible syllables
lingering in the still
dark lit pale yellow blue
by moonglow through
the blindslits that
reflect back temporary
diamonds seen only
at night or under gray
sunlight all washed
away sparkling to glisten
and hiss against my
leaves again

bhagiti 11.7.07 perrysburg, oh

clarity clarity what more
can you ask for there’s
nothing more perfect than
the moment of opulent
focus vivid and heavy
just before the curtains
are pulled closed again

on four-legged deerpath
rain soaked to the bone
leaves golden brown
and yellow draw my eyes
deep to every side and
above losing focus vision
smells like a burning sea

i see i see
everything around me
i see i see
flickers and trades lies
for reality

there is a sleeper in every
treehollow and a home in
every rotten log it’s all what
we make of it before we
are made or unmade like
so many beds of childhood
the locked states of fears

i see i see
everything around me
i see i see
flickers and trades lies
for reality

bhagiti 11.6.07 perrysburg, oh

i will dream here forever and
continue to warble my song
it is my hanging on it is my
death trap avoidance scheme

you may look for yourself but
you won’t find it here where i
inhale the earth and stars die
in soggy houses and dream

i had to get in the graveyard
to let some people go i had
to pine on a train lonely for
a life i dreamed in a stone

dear diary
what a thing is me
emptying emptying
unraveling me

why i leave it all unlocked i don’t
know pry and pretend it’s you
or someone you know it’s me
can’t you see that the moon is me

and you and everything we’re
all apart we’re all a part we’re
all glow worms that from above
resemble all the stars that we are

dear diary
what a thing is me
emptying emptying
unraveling me

dear diary
today i’ll let go
emptying emptying
unsolving me

bhagiti 11.5.07 perrysburg, oh

and here i am arranging
everything into crazy
patterns looking for some
meaning without a key

stones end-to-end in rows
each positioned just so
crop circle geometry in
sticks and bottle caps

oh my stone
what does it say
oh my stone
what does it say

i want to shout in patterns
but my mouth is sewn
mute but for pebbles
sticks and glass on the floor

a mandala i cannot hear a
cryptic puzzle in arcane
silent seduction i have no
mouth yet i must scream

oh my stone
what will you say
oh my stone
what will you say

bhagiti 11.4.07 perrysburg, oh

the moon and venus
are vivid and crisp this
morning but the stars
of my sleep were arranged
differently and i drew
different patterns that
only i would know

two yellow doves cooed
and and snuggled as i pet
them soft and warm they
followed me in the room
full of dulcimer boats fit
for escape into no sea
i would ever know

we all can secretly love a stone
we all can secretly love a stone

i have forgotten now what
the new patterns all mean
my map sewn onto the
bottom of a blanket i
can’t find it is cold and the
yellow doves are flown
what will i ever know

can we all secretly love a stone
can we all secretly love a stone

bhagiti 11.3.07 perrysburg, oh

rock climber
you are an inversion
paradox is the thrill
in hanging on or
not letting go

what is your
relationship to the stone
like a sculptor do
you reveal or is
it an embrace

fingertip fingertip
everything decided
by your fingertip

how many
times are you tempted
just to see how
close you can get
to weightlessness

and up there
is it you or the cliff that
you are climbing
and fighting off the
not letting go

fingertip fingertip
everything decided
by your fingertip

bhagiti 11.2.07 perrysburg, oh

all hallows now you’ve
scared off the haints
how many of you are left
now still called saints

and what does it take
martyrdom not enought
for bones in jars just a look
upon the inconceivable

i don’t believe you
i don’t believe you

my woods now safe at
night the roots cooking on
the stove to sustain my
winter ghost dreaming

shadows no less dark
the quiet and creak no less
ripe with mold on the vine
haunted still these woods

i don’t believe you
i don’t believe you

bhagiti 11.1.07 perrysburg, oh

how long did you think you could hold your breath
all my friends and i we bet that you’d be the one
to cheat death and make your breath like a ghost
of conversion it was all the night and nothing right
could ever happen again

strings and wires attach me to the salt that remains
at the end of your ropes you smiled your arms out
wide how much fire can we take there’s no water
left to hold out on we’ve taken it too far for the last
time i want to hold it in

like saul on hands and knees
gasping desert sand deep into
his visions
an exchange of this
for that in an instant all was
forgotten

and when it was over we all turned out and knew
that for you it was always angels and kites the strings
tying you to the skies you wanted off you wanted out
and now you have everything you ever wished for and
now i will hold it all in

like saul on hands and knees
gasping desert sand deep into
his visions
an exchange of this
for that in an instant all was
forgotten

bhagiti 10.31.07 perrysburg, oh

that roof was soggy
through and through
there wasn’t much
between the sleeping
and me

all the new leaves have turned

and downstairs the
billiard table scientist
sent us all into our
pocket change
relief

all the new leaves have turned

that wind up old fashioned
buggy car sure didn’t
get very far far from
the pine needle woods
house

all the new leaves have turned

and the gymnasium
was bigger than a
balloon but we couldn’t
hold it all with our sox in
jars

all the new leaves have turned

goodbye ten crow
feathers and soft house
remorse wet with sad
sleepless beds and
shame

all the new leaves have turned
all the new leaves have turned

bhagiti 10.30.07 perrysburg, oh

dusty miller and toby celery
hit the world hard and they
both hit it together

dusty was a tombstone
cement mixer
toby was a dimestore
kitchen electrocutioner

ta-la-da-lama
the world is wide
ta-la-da-lama
let’s give it a try

dusty miller and toby celery
hit the world hard and they
both hit it together

dusty was a-growin’
inside wantin’ a mind
toby was a wrong way
ckickety escalator ride

ta-la-da-lama
the world is wide
ta-la-da-lama
just look at the sky

the world hit dusty miller
and toby celery hard and
it hit ‘em both together

dusty took it in stride
with colorful mind
toby looked away
already fixin’ to die

ta-la-da-lama
the world is wide
ta-la-da-lama
with tears inside

bhagiti 10.29.07 perrysburg, oh

the trees almost asleep still
a few more green stones
they’ll throw before one
final long turn and shudder

what do you dream do you
know you will eventually
reach the sea to be made
jellyfish seals it’s not unreal

i’ll keep your secrets
all winter long
i’ll keep your secrets
all winter long

worth your weight in the paper
jewels you’ve heaped up
on my stoop all fire and glow
stolen easily by wind and rain

take me take me too i’m ready
to shudder and turn acorn eyed
before the frozen shutdown
before the sunthaw alarm clock

i’ll keep your secrets
all winter long
i’ll keep your secrets
all winter long

bhagiti 10.28.07 perrysburg, oh

standing in a tunnel deep into
some hillside can’t see the
other side for some mudslide
gotta be daisies above but
in here all i can think of are

the dusty cloths of
keepsakes
wrapped up tight
in musty boxes
they are everything
the attic says is me

i smell the earth around me and
the hillside starts to heave what
more can i do without the need to
believe what the hell is freedom
anyway and all i can think of are

the dusty cloths of
keepsakes
wrapped up tight
in musty boxes
they are everything
the attic says is me

now i’ve got a little light and soon
i will be free but i’m taking my time
not wanting to leave so easily from
the belly of this hill where the earth
kisses me before i’m forced to face

the dusty cloths of
keepsakes
wrapped up tight
in musty boxes
they are everything
the attic says is me

bhagiti 10.27.07 perrysburg, oh

this hunter’s moon has pinned me
naked against fear and sleep no
hiding from the yellow light that
seeps through blinds that aren’t

i give up easy prey to the cool
yellow glowing strangely in the
black as it takes me for its own now
i am the night too no longer afraid

what moon will i be
a sister i never knew
lost to earth and sea

i cannot pull oceans but i’ll make you
crazy wolves will howl at me out of
forgotten memory and away
lovers will leap and dreamers will cry

what moon will i be
a sister i never knew
lost to earth and sea

bhagiti 10.26.07 perrysburg, oh

sometimes morning is a promise
i wish it wouldn’t keep laying in
the architecture of day quickly
dismantling the circular structure
of night

it’s the switch stuck in the middle
between what was and what will
be like a burning tiger on a tv
plugged into some dark forest
of night

no dread eyes
or dread hands
dare step into these days

my heart an anvil and furnace the
foundry of arrows tipped with
desire and foolishness shot from
and into my belly from the center
of night

no dread eyes
or dread hands
dare step into these days

bhagiti 10.25.07 perrysburg, oh

he tries to move
through her with
an old bottle of
her perfume and
the handmade
mixtape covers
he forgot about

but she is gone
she is gone

i didn’t know what
to say 20 years
later it was a life
i never saw the
covers vivid the
perfume gentle
with sweetness

but she is gone
she is gone

with wings and
release she is
part of night and
days under the
cover of stars
and leaves closed
like now our box

she is gone
she is gone
she’s gone

bhagiti 10.24.07 perrysburg, oh

the veil lifts to reveal
what’s hidden behind
a translucent curtain

eleven faceless sad
souls without whose
tired hearts lift limply

hidden in plain sight
these are the silvery
shades of desire

haunt me
haunt me
draw my dreams
tug my strings

your symmetry
frightens me as much
as your heavy silence

i’m on the floor writhing
as the eleven stand
motionless and blue

haunt me
haunt me
draw my dreams
tug my strings

bhagiti 10.23.07 perrysburg, oh